What to Wear to a Funeral
What is a Funeral Outfit?
This is not what I was planning to write about this week. But then again, that’s what happens with a funeral… It's generally an unexpected event. Unlike a wedding, or a party, a funeral is an occasion where you need to be dressed in a fairly specific way. But at the same time, one where you typically do not have a heads up that the event is going to happen.
Sadly, this past weekend was the funeral of a dear friend's father. He had been battling Alzheimer’s disease for years, but nonetheless, his passing was heartbreaking and unexpected. Leading up to the funeral, as well as later at the condolence call, there were multiple conversations about what to wear to a funeral. And if it made sense to have a “funeral outfit” on hand. It can sound kind of morbid, but the truth is it can also serve as one less thing to think about at an already difficult time.
Funerals Can Be Emotional and Overwhelming, Don’t Let the Clothes Add to it.
The lead up to a funeral as well as the funeral itself is emotional. And whether it’s the passing of a loved one or an acquaintance, when you’re grieving, the last thing you want to stress over is what to wear.
It might sound odd, but I often recommend to my clients (and take the advice myself as well) to have a go-to funeral outfit in their wardrobe. In fact, the issue came up this past week in my Private Facebook Group “All Dressed Up With Somewhere To Go”. One of the members posted her outfit of the day (#OOTD) as she had a funeral to attend. Her comment was “This clarifies for me that I need a couple of go-to look nice/ not fancy but “appropriate” outfits for stuff like this (shivas, funerals, luncheons etc) when we are back into regular life.”
And that’s exactly the point…Even though life isn’t exactly regular yet, having a few well vetted, suitable options on hand for a funeral, helps, even in a small way, make a time that is inherently stressful, a little less so.
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So What Makes an Outfit, a Funeral Outfit?
There are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to dressing for an occasion such as a funeral. The goal is the outfit to be respectful to the person that has passed as well as their family. And still feel true to yourself (aka, comfortable).
Opt for a somber color palette. Often it is black. As a guest, dark shades of blue, grey and brown are also appropriate.
Err on the side of modesty. Mini skirts and spaghetti straps are more for parties than funerals.
Bring a Third Piece, like a jacket or sweater. It helps with the modesty and venues can get chilly.
Wear comfortable shoes. Funerals can mean time on your feet or walking in a cemetery. Pumps, booties or flats are a better choice than sneakers, which might be seen as disrespectful to mourners.
Have a warm weather and cold weather version of your funeral outfit on hand. Sometimes that just means a change of shoes or an addition of a sweater.